What He Deserves
by SleepingSeeker
Summary: 2k12 'verse. Set right after Slash and Destroy. Slash gives Raph the gift he's always wanted. To tell Leo just what he thinks of him. Rated M for swearing, torture and sexual molestation.


**A/N: **I tend to write honestly and raw which means often it is graphic depictions of some god-awful things. I always tag and give full disclosure so if it's not within your comfort zone you can steer clear.

For those of you who can handle it - lemme get out of your way.

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

_ "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."_ –Lao Tzu

**What He Deserves**

Raph rolled his tongue around the swollen gums, feeling several teeth rock with a sickening slurching followed by a jolt of pain. His mouth filled with blood. He gagged and spat. Crimson bloomed across the gray rooftop. Even in the hazy purple twilight, it stood in stark contrast; vivid; bright as an accusation. He groaned and strained against the elastic cord wrapped around his wrists, pinned painfully behind his shell and latched to the metal girding of a wireless tower. It gave a little but not enough for him to wriggle loose. He jerked. A sharp pain traveled up and down his right arm through and around his shoulder and he ground his teeth together, bracing himself against the discomfort; seeing spots behind his eyelids. Wondering if it meant his shoulder was dislocated. He shifted, trying to ease some of the distress rippling through his body. Gravel dug into his bare knees.

He raised his head and felt the tipping sensation wash over him, making him pitch to one side. He caught himself with one hip and thigh. Righted himself. He had a concussion, sure of it. It was hard to focus. But he frowned and concentrated. Memories muddied and unclear swam before his mind's eye.

He'd gone out. No, Leo was with him. Wait. No. Leo had argued with him. Then he went up. He was running. No. Being chased. It was a shadow. He was followed. A shadow. Raphael frowned. No.

He started in fright. The shadow was in front of him, blanketing him, now. Footsteps materialized. A large shape crossed in front of him. Raph blinked against the rush of sounds, hurting his pounding head. Scuffling, something being dragged, a groan and grunting, a muffled whimper. Familiar, but not, the sound of it meant someone suffered.

One eye swollen shut, crusted with dried blood and throbbing; he blinked his good eye, trying to clear it. He shook his head and slowly gazed upwards, keeping his head low between his shoulders. His heart leapt into his throat as his breath caught. He froze as ice flooded his veins.

"Okay, Buddy. This is why you needed ta stay put. It's like I promised," Slash grunted between his words, working to keep a struggling Leonardo in place; his throat pinched beneath Slash's elbow. Half his face hidden behind a mask of gore. His feet scrambled and slid through the grit on the roof. His fingers clawed and hopelessly dragged at Slash's bent arm, trying to gain some leeway in order to breathe. His knuckles were swollen and cracked. Dark bruises made a mottled pattern over his arms and legs.

"And I always keep my promises."

Raphael growled, but it sounded choked-off and feeble. "Let 'em go!" he croaked. And whatever sense of intimidation he was hoping to instill within Slash's cavernous hollow of a heart by his command fell flat; ineffectual. He sucked in a stuttering breath and tried again. "_Let 'em-!"_ His hoarse shout broke apart into a fit of coughing. His chest squeezed. A pain shot through his side. A rib bruised or broken stabbed at him, extinguishing any fire in his tone.

Slash cocked a brow as he brought the side of his massive fist down onto the top of Leonardo's head, making the boy's legs buckle. He unlocked his arm and Leonardo collapsed to his knees, falling forward, gasping and choking. Slash gave him no time to recuperate. A kick sent him rolling. Slash followed closely as Leo tumbled. He hustled around the rolling form and stopped his momentum by bracing one large foot against his shell. He pressed down and Leonardo writhed. A soft grunt of pain worked its way out between his clenching teeth.

_"Ungh, urk!"_

Raphael yanked and strained against the restraints holding him in place. His heart a jack-hammer against his aching ribs. His brother was being brutalized and there was nothing he could do to make it stop. This was all his fault. This rage that Slash had. It was meticulously crafted by his own spiteful words; whispered in hurtful vindication to his only confidante, a mute friend; someone who would always listen; never judge. And Raph had spilled all the guile and hate; all the frustrations and misdirected fury into Spike's ears; tainting his heart; molding him unwittingly into the monster he'd evolved into. If he'd had known . . . he would've never . . . he never wanted vengeance; not like this. Never like this. His friend. His brother. Raph choked against a sob lodged in his throat.

"Listen to 'em squealin'. Music ta my ears," Slash rumbled appreciatively. Slash glanced back at him, grinning broadly. Leo crawled away, making it a few inches before Slash twisted. "Where d'ya think yer goin'? We're just gettin' started, sweetheart." He stooped and punched Leo until he flopped against the roof. The smaller mutant's body jumping with each blow.

_"Stop!"_ he gasped through the pain in his side.

Raphael's protests died in his throat as Slash gripped his brother by the top of his head and dragged him back towards Raphael. Blood dribbling along the ground in a staggering spotty line, smeared in places by the tips of Leonardo's toes dragging through it. Slash stopped a few feet in front of him. Smirking. He held Leo out to Raphael. Gave him a shake. Leo fought weakly and Slash tossed him up in the air like a baseball, catching him about the front of his throat as he came down; wrapping his arm around him; pinning his carapace against the front of his body.

"Now's yer chance, pal. Give this prick what he deserves!"

Raphael's panicked eyes swept from Leo to Slash's face. He shook his head uncomprehendingly. "Wh-What?"

"Before, when you'd talk, you told me that nothin' would give you more satisfaction than tellin' Leo what you thought of 'em. Eh? Remember?"

Raphael shook his head and dropped it. How many nights had he spent grumbling his private thoughts out to his beloved pet? How many secret hurts and vowed threats had he made in the privacy of his own room; the comfort of venting a bit of private rage to someone who was always on his side. Who looked up to him. Loved him without question.

Guilt like wet sand swallowed him. His stomach roiled. Understanding dawned. This was his brother's condemnation. Slash was giving him a chance to get even. To tell him just what he thought of his brother; to spill every ugly imagined slur; to make him pay for all the times he'd been hurt by their rivalry. "No," he groaned softly.

"Hey," Slash growled, face darkening, "I'm doin' this for you, Raphael. I'm just tryin' to give you what you've been too chicken shit to take for yourself. Admit it. You wanted this. You always have."

Leonardo started to speak, rasping, "D-Don't listen to h-him –"

Slash shook him silent and punched him repeatedly in his stomach, making Leo curl, his mouth hanging open in a silent scream as he tried to breathe. He wheezed and choked. Squirmed and kicked with both feet dangling.

"Stoppit! Dammit, Spike!" Raphael screamed, rising up on his knees.

Slash eyed him. He jabbed a thumb into his chest. "It's Slash, now. I ain't yer pet, no more, Raphael. The name's gone, same as the position. We're equals now. I was hopin' we'd be friends." He eyed Raph carefully, muttering, "Maybe, somethin' more."

Raphael stared at him in disgust. The shadow came over Slash's face once again. His temper flared, as his voice rose, "And if you ain't gonna tell 'em, then I'm gonna tear him apart in front of ya. Either way, you'll be done with him once and fer all. You'll be free and even. Things'll be settled. And we can get on with our partnership."

Raph's chest heaved as sweat trickled down the sides of his face, stinging the open wound in the corner of his mouth. He considered Slash's threat. Was he really capable of that? Part of him couldn't accept it. Wouldn't. His throat worked, his mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. His mind raced and stalled. He couldn't think. He needed to think of a way out of this!

Slash waited a moment longer, staring at Raph. He huffed. Then shrugging, he turned and flung Leonardo onto his stomach. Immediately, Leonardo tried to clamber away on his hands and knees. But Slash slammed his foot down on the back of Leo's neck, pinning him. He reached down and took Leo's left ankle with one hand and his right leg with the other. Slash opened his arms wide; started to pry his legs out to the sides. Something popped.

Leo hissed and struggled, clawing at the ground in front of him, kicking uselessly in Slash's grip. _"Ah! Ungh! Haah!"_

"No! Stop! Don't . . . Don't do this! God, don't do this!"

Slash paused. "I swore one day I'd give you the chance to tell this guy how you feel. C'mon, Raph," he pleaded and shook his head in disappointment. "I'm finally giving you an opportunity to tell him off. Those nights you'd come to me . . . moaning and bitchin'. When he'd make you _cry_!" Slash suddenly roared and ground his foot down. Leonardo gurgled and choked. He spread his arms out wider, splaying Leo's legs.

"I'm sick of playin' around," Slash rumbled. "I had a feelin' you'd chicken out. So, I guess it's gotta be up to me ta take care of the nasty stuff."

He eyed Raph. He flipped Leo onto his shell. Leo gasped, tried to kick, but Slash held him aloft like a doll. Again his foot came down onto Leo's throat and he gagged and sputtered, squirming and punching Slash's ankle. He was pinned to the roof. Slash released Leo's ankle but clamped down between his legs. Leo's body jumped as Slash curled his fingers up into the tender flesh between his lower plastron and his tail; gripping his groin cruelly.

"But I'll do it. For you, Raph. To set you free, I'll do anything you want."

He started to pull. To tear Leonardo's lower plastron from his body. To rend him from groin to sternum.

Leo grunted and whimpered - the sound rose as Slash yanked until it morphed into a strained strangled squeal. A howl; a shriek filled with terror and pain. It was a sound that cut through Raph's stupor of denial and fright. A sound that would haunt Raphael the rest of his life. Raph wanted to scream but found his voice had been stolen away. He could only stand by mute in terror as his brother was being torn to pieces.

Slash took his other hand and braced the heel of it on top of Leo's sweat-slicked, quaking thigh. He yanked again; bicep bulging and there was a ripping sound, a zipping, unzipping like Velcro coming apart. "There we go," Slash grunted.

Leo bucked. His legs jolted. He screamed. Agonized and drawn out. Arching his back; shaking his head back and forth; his arms dropped; he wildly clawed at the ground; at the back of Slash's leg; everywhere; blindly searching for a way to escape the pain.

Raph shouted, voice hoarse and wavering, "No! No more! Enough! S-Slash, stop! Stop! L-Leo!" His face contorted and he blurted in a rush, "You-You think you're so fuckin' perfect! You spend eh-everyday lookin' down yer nose at the rest of us. B-But you're just a . . . joke! You know that, Lame-o-nardo?"

He spat the words out like poison. His stomach clenched as he forced the words out; vomiting them; all the hatred filled chunks of spoiled rivalry that had sat rancid in his soul's gut, for too long. Unresolved and festering. His rib jabbed him and he gasped through the pain, driving his breath to spew the words Slash wanted to hear from him.

"I-I remember when you'd piss yourself every night because you had nightmares. I remember the way you s-screamed," he panted and dropped his head battling a wave of nausea. Slash growled and he hurried on, "the way you screamed and cried like a girl when you got up on the rafter after Mikey dared you. 'Cuz you were scared of being uh-up high _ugh_, and c-couldn't get back d-own. You pretend to be a hero but you're not! _Ah . . . ugh_. There's . . . nothin' noble inside of you! All you do is copy things you see that pussy Captain Ryan do. Your hero's a fuckin' cartoon. Talk about being a dork. He ain't even real! Like you! Nothin' but fakes!"

Slash hesitated at Raph's words; feeling the heat of something spilling over his fingers, dripping. Urine. Blood. He grimaced and wiped his fingers against the panting turtle's chest and stomach. He eased his foot from Leonardo's throat and gripped the turtle's tail, dragging him by it until they were in front of Raphael, kneeling and sputtering, foaming at the mouth as he choked. Slash pulled Leo upright. He tried to crawl away; digging his shaking fingers into the gravel; his arms quaking and flopping with the effort, as he coughed and wheezed, but the larger turtle gathered him up like a pile of laundry.

Slash sat down with a thud, pulling Leonardo limply into his lap and wrapping his arms across his chest, like a child holding a teddy bear. Leo trembled and shook and Slash held him firmly. One hand drifted between his legs, fondling the raw distended flesh, cracked and bleeding; prodding at him; working his fingertip into the malleable portion where Leo's sensitive, private part of himself was tucked; making him jump and groan gutturally in weak protest. In his ear, in a low voice, seductively Slash whispered, "Listen up, sweetheart. He's been tellin' me this stuff for years. Now, you get to hear it." He stroked him and lapped at the side of Leo's face, tasting the blood and relishing his terror.

Raph stumbled on, hating himself with every word spoken, blind with tears searing his good eye, stinging the swollen one; saving Leo and killing him with his words. And at the very darkest center of his self, there was an evil sense of vindictive satisfaction twinging and curling in on itself with pleasure; and a subconscious part of Raphael recognized this within himself and his self-loathing deepened; charring into something evil and dangerous; to linger and swell in the long years ahead. He was the only monster there on that roof. It had only ever been him.

Voice hoarse and halting, he went on, "You make me sick - how you kiss up to Splinter. You're so fuckin' desperate to be in the spotlight. Eh-Everyone sees right through you! _Ah, unh,_ Even S-Splinter! Y-You know what I h-heard him say once . . . when he thought no one could hear him?!" Raph's face flushed as tears streaked down the sides of his cheeks. He stared into Leo's pale face and wide eyes.

"That's it, keep going," Slash encouraged. He worked at Leonardo's trembling body, sliding through the blood and body fluids. "Don't stop now, lookit him shakin'!" Slash chuckled, enjoying himself thoroughly. "Poor baby," he rumbled into Leonardo's ear.

Raphael growled out, "Th-That you're unbelievably annoying! See! Ha. Ha ha, _ugh, ahaaah_," he choked through his words, felt the hot tears spilling down his chilled face. "Even Splinter can't stand your kissing up!"

Leonardo trembled and a soft whimper escaped him. Slash laughed. "Oo, oh, wait!" Slash rumbled between bursts of laughter, releasing Leo's groin, to wipe at his eye. Leo gasped in relief between his gritted teeth. "_Hahaha! _ Tell 'em what happened with Karai! Yeah, you told me he had some pathetic crush, ain't that right? Tell 'em what she said!"

Raph froze. His bottom lip quivered. He wouldn't look away, he couldn't. And he saw Leo's glassy eyes widen just a bit more at the mention of Karai. He paled beneath the gore. And Raphael wanted to die.

"Wh-When w-we . . _. ugnh, gah_ . . . _urgh_," Raph struggled, shaking his head. He couldn't do this. He pinched his eyes closed.

"Well," Slash growled, all the mirth evaporating in his tone. "I'll tell 'em as I pry him apart, Raph, if that's what you'd prefer. This is the best part."

"N-Nuh . . . Sh-she . . . _ugh_," He shook his head and made a gagging sound. He couldn't breathe, his chest was collapsing. He couldn't breathe! "I c-can't," he pleaded in a breathless voice. "Slash, I ca-can't. I can't." He panted. "I-I made that up. It never even h-happened!" he shouted to the ground.

Slash harrumphed, "Here, lemme start," he leaned over and stared at the side of Leo's bloody face. He reached around and took his chin and cheeks with one hand to make him turn and look at him. "Raph met up with Karai a few months ago. Yeah. That's right. The chick your wettin' yer sheets over every night. Well, when he went up alone for a run . . ."

Leo's battered eye fluttered but he remained still and quiet. Listening. Straining in Slash's grip. Raph gurgled and groaned to the ground between his knees.

"When Raph got home he was so excited. He babbled about it for an hour before he laid back and pulled one off right in front of me." He cocked his head towards Raph, "Moaning her name, _heh heh heh_."

His voice shifted and he mimicked Raphael's. The uncanny sound of Raphael's voice rose up out of Slash's twisted mouth. _"I'll fuck ya, Karai. That's what you want so bad? I'll fuck you til you forget all about ah-ah ohho, Karai!"_ His voice rumbled back to itself, "Yeah. Nice. What a show." He turned and looked at Raphael, whose head was nearly between his knees, gasping and shaking. He released Leonardo's face, but kept him wrapped tight in his embrace. "Then, he finally fell asleep." He poked the top of Leonardo's head with one finger. "With a big grin on his face."

Leonardo's throat worked.

Raph made a strangled sound. "It . . . never h-hap . . ."

"Le'ssee, what did you say before that little show ya gave me?"

Slash grinned and turned his face back to Leo who stared straight ahead into the gathering gloom. A siren's blaring call bounced and echoed along the corners of the buildings as it raced to some emergency tucked away in the burrows of the neighborhoods. Coming to the rescue. On the rooftop, they remained, apart.

"Yeah, I remember. Karai told you that Leo was just a pathetic little tool with his whiny voice and sad skills. That she was worried he might hurt himself with those katanas since he didn't know how to work them."

Slash started to laugh, fully and with glee. "But the best part, the part that got Raphie boy so worked up was that she'd _come on_ to him."

He sounded impressed. He cocked a brow in Raphael's direction, whose face was up; mouth opening and closing; expression one of utter anguish; pleading silently for forgiveness from his brother with his good eye. Leonardo remained still and stared blankly ahead. Through him.

"She wanted to _play_ with him, whenever he was ready. And, remember, Raph, heh, I do. How could I forget the best part? You told me that she took your finger and slid it into her mouth that naughty little slut."

Leonardo seemed to grow smaller somehow. Without moving, he shrank into himself. And the only part of him that moved was the dripping blood and the slight flicker of his eyelids; the occasional tremor sweeping through him involuntarily.

_"It's not . . ."_ Raph's voice broke. "Not . . ." He shook his head from side to side.

Slash stood up and knocked Leonardo to the side with a blow to his head. He crumpled and tumbled and rolled until he lay, broken and still. His head turned away from them. Slash untied the cord from the girding. He gathered the end of the leash in his fist.

"I think we're done here."

Raph was yanked to his feet. He scrambled and writhed and twisted, grunting with the effort, growling and pulling, until he stumbled to his knees inches from where Leo lay, limp and frightfully still.

"L-Leo?" he breathed in a panic.

Leo remained still and then rolled his battered head slowly to peer at his brother over his arm. Dragging his bloodied cheek through the gravel. A single blue eye, rimmed in red, gazed mournfully up at him from the shadows.

"Leo?"

Leonardo blinked.

Raph whispered, "I'm _sorry_."

"C'mon." Slash yanked him backwards.

"I'm sorry!" Raph blurted again. "Leo, I-I'm _sorry_!" he sobbed until Slash threw him over his shoulder and leapt from the edge of the building.

A tear worked its way down the side of Leonardo's cheek. He fumbled and dragged himself across the building, gaining ground by inches. Towards the pile of gear that Slash had stripped from him. With shaking fingers, he pulled out the shell cell and tried to press the button for the emergency beacon. But his vision blurred and darkness threated the edges of his consciousness.

Distantly he heard a strange grinding, whimpering sound and realized with a start that he was making it. Couldn't stop. He tried the button again and dropped the phone from his weakened grip. He could only hope he was successful as the merciful dark enveloped him.


End file.
